Why is it that a husband, most times, thinks it is ok to have female friends?

Most men I have met that are married say it is ok for them to have female friends especially if they knew the friend before a marriage. But, when it comes to wives some are uncomfortable with them having male friends and often friends from their past. Why is it sometimes a double standard. And if the wife does not approve of the friendship husband's call it insecure? General Question to be answered. You guys rock and I thank you for any input on this subject. It has often appeared in marriage and divorce.Why is it that a husband, most times, thinks it is ok to have female friends?
My answer won't be popular but....





It depends on the level of ';friendship.'; My husband and I both have friends of opposite sexes, but they don't cross lines... we don't go out alone with them or have lengthy phone conversations...etc. It's very platonic.





Close friends of the opposite sex are dangerous if they cross the line! It's nature. Attraction grows especially if communication breaks down in the marriage. We believe that it's unnecessary to place yourself in a situation that may invite something inappropriate to happen.





The opposite sex belongs at an arm's length.Why is it that a husband, most times, thinks it is ok to have female friends?
Is the question why is there a double-standard or is it OK to have MoS friends?





The double-standard exist because men are horn-dog-pigs and as some point entertain the idea of sex with almost every attractive women they see and guys all know this about other guys.


Mix in a little selfishness and jealousy and you have the attitude that ';I get to browse'; but ';You're not on display'; for others.





That's not how it's /suppose/ to be though.


If your marriage is strong and stable that kind of jealousy fades away but your marriage is likely not that strong on day one.


If you take each other for granted and feel under-appreciated (or worse ever contended with some-sort of affair) then the jealousy is much more pronounced and you both /are/ more likely to stray under these conditions. i.e. jealousy exist for a reason.
Because men know their kind: Men like sex, and men need sex. It is very difficult for a man to have a friendship with a girl without thinking about having a physical relationship with her. It's possible, but it takes a lot of self control.





So, when a husband sees these other men who want to have a friendship relationship with his wife, he assumes they have alterior motives for wanting to be friends with his wife. It's not that he doesn't trust his wife... he doesn't trust those other men.





Really, knowing how the male brain works, I am surprised that more women aren't more upset by their husband's female friends.
Insecurity and immaturity in part. They feel it's OK for them to have female friends because in their immature mind they feel like they need to feed their ego and because they like to project that image ';I still got it'; to people they don't know and actually don't care. And they are insecure because they see your male friends from your past or present as predators that want his pray at home. Like I said Insecurity and immaturity sweetie. Most of us grow up a lot slower than you ladies. In mental grows a 21 year old girl (most of them) has the maturity of a 34 - 37 year old man. sometimes that's what you see younger girls liking older guys.
I don't think it is fair to continue entertaining the female friends a man had before marriage. My thing is he needs to leave everyone of them behind...now there will always be female friends, but they should be for the most part be mutual friends.





However, I'd also say that people are different and if the wife hints that she's uncomfortable, the husband needs to honor her by showing her he cares and cutting off those relationships, after all they are not helpful to the marriage.
Because ';some'; men are just as immature as ';some'; women are.


It is perfectly fine for married couples to have friends of both genders. If you can't trust your spouse to have a friend that is of the opposite gender then you shouldn't be married to them.


If, as you say, ';most'; of the men that you have met are insecure about their wives having male friends, I would suggest you change the people you associate with...lol.
Friends= alone time = emotional bonds= it was just sex, she meant nothing to me really..Wthout these types of things going on, there would be very few questions here in M%26amp;D





Open up your facebook and look up your old high school buddies, give them your home phone number and have them call while your husband is there. Let him answer the phone. What`s good for the goose , is good for the gander. Show him by example, how he is making you feel.
my husband and I arent insecure, but we both agree that its kind of impossible to be friends with the opposite sex and hang out like you would with the same sex. If he told me, ';hey babe, im going out with the girls, see ya at 10'; id have a heart attack and vice versa. call me wrong and bring on the thumb downs, but thats how it is with us and were happy with it.
i don't have an issue w/ my wife having male friends or friends from her past...as long as she isn't being sneaky about the friendships or doing anything that she shouldn't w/ said friends. personally, i don't understand the whole ';jealous guy'; attitude that a lot of men have. if your wife or girlfriend wants to cheat on you...she's gonna find a way no matter how much you scrutinize her friendships or her activities. that being said, you should trust her until she proves that she cannot be trusted. once that trust has been broken, you have to choose if you want to stay or go.
I like Jay's, Trinity's, and Why's answers. I know my husband would never cheat on me, and he has shown me I can trust him, so he has let go of his female friends, unless we have mutual friendships or he sees them at the store. They don't call here, he doesn't call them. I do the same. It's safer that way. There is a saying that is so true: the spirit is strong, but the flesh is weak. This method helps both of us be stronger.
I always have distanced myself from my many female friends when in a relationship. If we did hang out it was in social settings with lots of mutual friends, not one on one or anything like that. It was also usually just playing cards and reminiscing about when we were 14 and had all the answers and what not.
A friend is a friend. A friend of the opposite sex has to be very careful to never be a perceived threat This is a relationship something that the spouse should have been aware of before marriage and if the friend is smart he/she would make it a point to become very good friends with the friends new spouse.
Jane...rarely have I heard or since a man having a female friend that didnt lead into sex. Dont let him fool you. Than again only you can answer that question, because only you and GOD will really know youre husband well enough to make that call. Remember this most men will only have sex on their minds when it comes to female. Best to you.
My husband has female friends, some of them from his past. I know them, and am secure enough in my marriage not to mind. I have male friends, too. I think that when you trust your partner, who they're friends with shouldn't matter.
Because a women will have sex with anyone that she calls a friend. A man is a dog and does not call them friends. We don't talk to you about the ones we do! We don't need you out messing around.
because it is ok. Have some trust and faith in you husband. I work in a male dominated field. MY STBX did worry about me cheating on him; I loved him too much.
Because there pigs and just think of them selfs.
i can sum it up in 1 word.





Insecurity- all the way around.
Because it is ok.
I disagree with your strawman assertion. Both sides say that it's not ok.
There's a difference if you knew someone before the marriage. I think it's ridiculous that people think since you're married you can start unravelling all the past relationships you don't agree with (unless it's a serious ex-partner). I wouldn't want my wife hanging out with someone she boned on a regular basis for years and I would assume she would feel the same way. However, He/she married you and if you had any misgivings about what the person was doing with past friends, you should have never married someone in the first place.





New friends on the other hand, I'd have to disagree with. If there's a new girl that the wifey's uncomfortable with, so be it. I'm not hanging out with her. Now, that's not to say that you should be able to veto every new relationship but if hubby/wifey sees the new friend look at their spouse in a sexual way, no way to put yourself in a bad situation. Especially for a woman. Not to be sexist, but if new male friend wants to force himself on you, typically you're boned. And if you're all hanging out together, it's not your friend and it's both of your friend and their usually isn't any issue with that. I have a huge problem with my wife being alone with guys I don't know not because I think she'll cheat, but because it's safer that way. Whereas she's fine with any new girl I meet because I can obviously stop any unwanted advances.





Just my two cents on the subject. I think it's a double standard yes, but double standards aren't always a bad thing. We in America want to pretend that men and women are equal and the same. We're not. We may be equal yes, but there are huge differences and until we acknowledge that, we aren't really being fair.