How do you and your husband/wife split of the household chores with a baby?

Me and my wife have a 3 month baby girl. I work a full time night shift and my wife stays at home and doesn't work.





I constantly have to get on my wife's case about picking up after herself and to wash the dishes, since she uses the most of them.





But everytime I get on her case she calls me an asshole and tries to make me feel bad.





I, however, clean the kitchen (cuz she doesnt), bathroom, bedroom, the catbox, vacuum and throw the trash. and I'm able to do it EVEN WHILE TAKING CARE OF THE BABY (feeding, playing, reading, and putting her to nap)





I don't understand how i'm the bastard here if I expect her to do bare minimum household work, while I do the rest.





How do you split up the chores, how do you make it fair?How do you and your husband/wife split of the household chores with a baby?
Taking care of a baby is a full-time job, its harding than any full-time job outside the home. I have to remind my husband of that everyday and I have a 2 year old and 2 3 week twin girls to look after. She should at least do the house chores if your going to work.How do you and your husband/wife split of the household chores with a baby?
Well my boyfriend worked part time (as in 8-12 hours a WEEK for a while) and I was on call 24/7, doing ALL the household chores, ALL the laundry, ALL errands, ALL the dishes, shopping, bill-paying, car-fixing, cooking, cleaning, baby-taking-caring-of-ing(?)...





And if I would ask for his help (ie give the baby a bath so I can sweep and mop the floor without baby crawling all over it) he would whine and complain about how hard his day was, how stressed out I made him, how I didn't appreciate anything he did for us and how I was ungrateful because AAAALLLL i had to do was sit on my lazy *** and WAIT ON HIM TO COME HOME.





well, sometimes when things are that dramatically different you either have to accept it or decide if you can live with it. There simply was no ';arrangement'; with him. I could NOT make a list, he thought that was ';unfair'; (I don't know HOW this is UNFAIR) to him. We couldn't evenly split chores. Partly because it meant he would HAVE to do something all the time, not just GET to do something when he felt like it.





We're separated right now but if we live in the same house EVER I SWEAR we are going to follow a chore list on the fridge just like when we were kids, to keep us (me) from killing each other.
From what you say wife is not doing her job. If she is a stay at home mom, her job is the house and kid(s). It is a tough job, and I know I am not always perfect at it myself, but she most certainly should be doing all the stuff you say you've been doing, as it sounds like you clean the whole house. She should be doing just about all of it, and if you are helping you could be doing things like taking out the garbage or something...but her job is the house! You have your job, and you are doing what you are supposed to be doing by going out and making money to provide for your family's needs. She needs to take care of her family by taking care of the home. My husband works two jobs, and I stay at home with four step kids and a new baby. He helps out where he can, but honestly he isn't even home much, nor do I expect him to do much if any of the housework itself. I am the one home the majority of the time, it's my job! If you want to share in the housework, thats great of you, but don't do it all. You somehow need to lay down the law and get her to understand it is her job to do the majority of these things since she stays home. That is a job in itself, and she needs to take responsibility for it.
My husband works nights and takes care of our baby days. He has been since she was 10 weeks old. I had the summer off and went back last week. What do we do? He keeps up on things while he is home and I clean at night, get our things ready for the next day, etc.





On saturday's we have family housework day- everyone helps. We get it all done- and I mean ALL in about 3 hours. OUr son does the litter box nightly- he is 10 and has had the job since he was 8. So, we all pitch in. We are a team- and we go about our day as a team. Our home is 2100 sq. feet and I can't do it alone. My husband is not that great about putting things away, but has learned- and I don't do the nagging thing. I do the ';sarcastic thing';. Or I ask him to ';find a home for it.';





It has to be a team effort. When our baby was small, I would fold laundry with her in her sling. I always clean the bathrooms and my husband now always folds and hangs the laundry. I vacuum as he moves furniture and runs off with the baby since the sound terrifies her. Our son cleans windows and polishes furniture.





You need to talk with her and devise a plan. i had to do this when our son was small because with me working full-time, him on nights and with an autistic child- our son, it was not getting done. We had arguments too. This way works for us...and it's fun because we put on the tunes and get busy.





Good luck and have a talk about a plan and how to get it done. It shouldn't fall on one person. I would also invest in a dishwasher- you can get a portable one cheap. With all the baby stuff now, you'll need one.





Good luck!