From personal experience I can tell you that the deployment is weighing heavily on his mind, and you should keep that in mind when you approach him about your sex life. This can be a touchy subject under normal circumstances, so please make sure to talk in a nice even calm tone. If you are showing that you are as frustrated as you really are then chances are he will get either defensive or depressed over not being able to please you. When he is deployed he will be worrying about this conversation a lot, not because he thinks that you will cheat but because one of his buddies will undoubtedly receive a letter from their loved one saying that it is over. The only advice I can give you is to talk, don't accuse or complain. Tell him that you read about something or that you would like to try something as a change of pace. Look up new positions with him or even read up on all the pleasure centers of the body together pointing out which ones you would love. You may have to ask him a few times but after showing him how much it works he should start going for it on his own. Communication is the key, tell him that you would like for him to surprise you instead of you asking because you don't want to ask too much of him. Just remember to be calm or even just in a good mood when you bring this up so that it isn't doomed from the start. I hope this helps.
---- The following is from my husband who is also military--------
On the other side of the relationship my husband says; its tough for men to deploy, a lot goes through our mind. We worry about many useless things for example, if you say I'm not happy with sex right now ( or anything of the such) we are possible to think '; She's going to cheat on me.'; or '; I'm worthless.'; Sex is a valuable subject to men. I cannot begin to explain how we MUST be the best you ever had, or at least think so. In saying so, new things may be tried, but they must come from you and not from your past.
................ now face it ( my husband stated this) ';Some men suck';, but we can be trained; if ANY sex has ever been good then it can be good again. Stress is something that we react poorly to in bed. Deployment IS stress.
Try not to worry about sex at this time, show him that you love him, but don't over do it because then he could start thinking that something is wrong. Follow these words of advice and things should improve, but of course it is also dependent on his stress level. Good luck.How can I tell my husband Im unhappy with our sex?
you have to be specific. Give him a road map to your body or at least be his gps system. Tell him where and how you like it. Make sexy noises when he does something good. Dont tell him he is doing it wrong or he loses his confidence. ........
If all else fails break out the old vibrator in front of him and do it yourself in front of him. Let him know he is not needed if he refuses to learn. .
You can also fake the orgasm quickly and leave him high and dry a few times. Maybe he will understand how you feel then.
If you are constantly telling him that what you are getting is not as good as you want it to be, he may have a bruised ego. Try focusing on what he does do right and giving a lot of positive feedback when something feels good.
Touch yourself where you want to be touched while he's watching. He's likely to join in. Take the pressure off of him to ';perform.';
If all you are saying to him is you want good sex, that is pretty vague, especially for a guy. And when you are giving ';directions'; the right approach and how you word things can make a big difference. Some guys are turned off by a woman who seems ';demanding'; (i.e. ';Do THIS; DON'T touch THERE) If you say something more like ';I really love it when you...'; or ';... would make me really hot'; Give him compliments. Tell him he's hot.
Hope That Helps. Good luck :-)
I like that last post....get a porno and play';lets do everything they do';....or just come right out and tell him that you need more without hurting his ego. Say is something like ';honey it makes me so randy when you ........'; That may remind him what you really like. Most guys are just oblivious...they want to make you feel good but go about it their way...sometimes if I know what i want before we get started I get myself to that point so we can just have a 10 minute quickie and both feel satisfied...i take longer to go so i just have to start without him and then jump his bones once I'm there...its truly awesome...but if i left it all up to him....yeah none of that would happen and i'd be getting nuttin....Be assertive lady and seduce him. :)
hey why dont you get some karma sutra books or if you are into a porno movie show him what you want. im not into that so i suggest you take him and say tonight we are not talking and you are going to be my toyboy and do what i want you to do and go from there .but you got to make him beg for it otherwise there is no point i reckon.he he.have fun go get some toys whips chains from an x rated shop and enjoy him and show him what he will be missing dress up in a really skimpy outfit oh have a look on the inet at the strippers they have things you can buy online and much beetter than in x rated shops.
With men you have to be very straightforward. Say it like it is; You may have to draw him a picture of where...well, you get hte idea. But your best bet is to just talk to him when you're both relaxing and be nonconfrontational about it.
He's probably stressed about leaving again. He may be worried that he won't make it back and that's why he's acting the way he is but you won't know unless you talk to him about it.
Good luck to you and thank him for serving our country.
Hi! I think communication is the problem. U say that he gets tired. Why dont you look at his physical health first? Give him some tonics, vitamins and stuff. If he has mental pressure, that also might be the cause of his tiredness. Ease his tensions and maybe u might get what u want.
If that is also not the case, then try to be explainatory to him, what exactly u want... Your husband is a man not a superman.... Try to see his point too.
Best Wishes!
You give nothing? Try making his time left with you memorable - give him the ride of his life, and see if that inspires him to greatness. If it doesn't, then you know you're onto a dud, and either you find someone else, or you learn to live with it.
Just make sure you decide it BEFORE he leaves.
It's always about you, you you girls. The poor guy is probably freaking out! I bet he's going threw a change and it's not about you. He's becoming a man like it or not he is changing and he knows it. Try to support his feelings and thoughts. He will need it. Good luck!
The first thing is might be you're very good person.....
The second thing is for sure, your husband is an idiot.
The last thing, these stuffs occur when someone is getting used, abused or f***ed for fun....
My advice-Develop rock-solid attitude!!!
He lacks the stamina right now to accomplish such thing. I don't think you're the problem, just his sex drive.
I suggest Viagra and Vegetables. They always help the impossible (Good sex) become possible.
You are dealing with the most delicate subject in the known universe - sex - and the most delicate object known to man - the male ego. No matter what you say or do you will not win.
just tell him that he has to give you orgasm.
Since he is your husband (I'm not sure how long you been with him), but tell him straight forward what is on your mind!!
just ask him whats going on. its your husband and your sex life!
u need to grab him by both ears hun,
I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH SWEET MILDRED
maybe he doesn't like anchovies on his pizza.
just wait til he is gone and then call me
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