How to forgive my husband if he had a baby outside the marriage?

we value and invested time in this marriage. what marriage doesn't have their up and downs. we have kids together. i love him and he also loves me too. I don't kow whether to save my marriage or to get a divorce?How to forgive my husband if he had a baby outside the marriage?
Elizabeth Edwards was able to forgive her husband when he had an affair, but it takes a whole lotta work! Good luck!How to forgive my husband if he had a baby outside the marriage?
I would have to do marriage counseling to see whether or not it would be worth saving. Also if he came to you and was truly remorseful about having an affair and it not taking a kid to find out,I would try to salvage it but only with marriage counseling.If you found out he had an affair due to a child being the reason he told you,then no I couldn't forgive because looking at that child would always be a reminder to me that he could cheat again and he could be more careful to not get caught. Would you be able to treat that child right and not have resentment for it is another question to ask yourself. You're the one that will have to live with this decision. I say follow your heart and do everything you can to try to save it that way if you walk out,you'll know you did everything you could and not always wonder what could've been.Best of luck
Personally, I couldn't do it. In order for him to man up to his responsibility he needs to be a parent to that child. I couldn't live with that. On the other side if he abandoned that child I couldn't look at him either so it would be a no win for me. That is just me though.





Think about this, how are you going to be seeing the child's mother and hell, the child for visits? How about not that up to 25% of his income will be going out of the house to another women he cheated on you with, so now you have the bear the financial burden of his infidelity as well. Obviously your children will now grow up knowing their father is unfaithful and their mom was okay with it. (You aren't okay with it, but you accepted it, that sets up a bad precedence for kids)





Again, it is your life, only you know what is best for you, but I couldn't ever forgive something of this magnatude.
Oh wow, this is a really hard one. I know you want opinions to help you decide what to do, but everyone is different. Some people have it in them to forgive, and others don`t. Of course, not until you`re challenged do you realize what kind of person you are.


He betrayed you and lied and not only to you, but to your kids too. Him having a baby was probably a mistake, I don`t think that was planned, but now he needs to take responsability of that kid and that woman. It`s so unfair to you and to your family and when you say, we`ve invested time in this marrige, my God, I know what that is! I`m married too, with one kid and another on the way.


This is totally devastating and I would advice marriage counseling, not only to see if you can save it, but if YOU, individually can forgive this...and live with him knowing he`s got another kid somewhere and share him with that little person...
It is up to up. If you have minor kids that you want growing up with their mom and their dad in the same house, you make things work...if he wants to remain in this marriage. You have to welcome the new child into your home with open arm (the child is innocent in all this). If he has repented and is remorseful, you have to move forward and stop dwelling on his infidelities.
If you can forgive and forget and never bring it up maybe counseling would help a lot but then you have to keep this in mind that the other women and the baby will be in your husbands life now so there will be a constant reminder of the affair and can you put up with him going to see his baby and trust him its all up to you
people do stupid mistakes and then they pay for it,





you should save your marriage,


make sure he pays for that child too, he has not done any mistake ,


sadly it's pretty much about it that you can do, if you get a divorce, your child loses too.
You say he also loves you????


How is that if he had a baby with someone else while y'all are married? And no... you shouldn't save your marriage if that is the case.


Put all the pieces of the puzzle together and dont be in denial.
outside as in with someone else while married??? I hate to tell you, but he does not value his marriage if so. I personally could not live with that.
You're the only one who's able to make that LONG TERM decision. I would feel there was no Marriage to save......I wish you the very VERY best down that road......鈾モ櫏
Save it your kids will suffer alot if you dont and if he loves you then there more of a reason to SAVE IT!!!!
that depends.. if he had it b4 u got married myb its fine.