Have you ever seen a programme called Nanny 911? If not, I would recommend that you try to buy a DVD from Amazon and show it to your husband.
You are absolutely right. Children need order and discipline otherwise they will take over the house. They will also grow up to be spoilt and selfish adults. I would tell your husband that your children do not need snacks and drinks before bed. He is giving them these because he believes this is a sign of his affection for them. But what he is doing is making a rod for both your backs because eventually, they will not go to sleep without them. Not to mention the fact that their teeth will rot and, as you say, they wet the bed. Oh, and obesity will become a problem.
In my experience, it is best not to argue with him about the way he treats the kids in front of your children. Otherwise they will tap into this and start to play you off against each other - it sounds like they are doing this already on the chaotic nights. I would explain to him that when he is on the late shift, you do not give them snacks and drinks and they go to sleep just fine without them. This is because they do not need them. If he wants to display his affection, it would be better if he cuddled them and played with them when they are awake. And the best display of affection he could give them is to be a loving and affectionate father.How do I get my husband and I to agree on how to raise our children?
First let me start off by saying that there are rules or books.(alot of the authors,don't have childern).By that I mean, If how you want your childern to grow up to be functioning people, contribute to society,and live a long and healthy life, they need to to know how. Not to be out spoking, but your husband is wroug. It is easier for him to say it's alright, because in that, he won't have to deal any of the real problems that are in his face. It seem to me that your husband has alot of growing up to do him self. Childern must have structure and disipline. They need it and beleive it or not they want it. Don't back down, if all else fails, the both might think about counsling, for his own good, and the kids.
I SUGGEST THIS MY SON WAS LIKE THAT well in the night my son eat also before go to bed aso what i did if i ask my son do you want to eat dinner now or later if and i give them a food when they hungry dont push them to eat when they dont want, for a snack dont always give them every minute or second put some time on it like in the morning if dont want breakfast food give them a breakfast ceral bar you see kids like to eat something fun to eat like chocolate so make it fun,give them some food and put some fun things that will attract them to eat in time so they dont get hungry in after dinner, back to drinking in night and food feed them dinner in time and when they finish tell them that the kitchen is close and be open again in the morning in dringking in the night before go to bed make sure each of them go to the bathroom and pee first before lying in bed
in order to be effective you have to come to some kind of compromise children can tell if your not on the same page and will play you against each other
I would first of all make it clear that that you cannot make two dinners ever no matter what. What is for dinner is there at dinner time and that's it. Ask your husband if you can come to some kind of agreement you comprimise a little and he compromise a little. Like they can have a fruit or veggie snack before bed but no drinks because of the bed wetting. Also maybe so he doesn't think they are thirsty have a water bottle available at all times for them to get on their own. and then at like 6 or 7PM or whatever time you want it to stop you take them away and tell your husband they drank so many 8oz glasses of liquid today so he knows they've had enough. Let the kids know to that if they ask you for a second dinner that you won't get it for them they have to eat dinner when it is served. They might not believe you at first but when they come to you and you say I am sorry but dinner was at such and such time you knew that they will soon stop skipping dinner.
3 wurds girl talk it out!!!
Welllll, you have a few choices here. Talk to your husband and explain how serious this problem is(which it sounds like you have) and I know how hard it can be convincing males.But let him know you just can't go on like this.
Or just except the fact you are going to have to be the sole disciplinarian and make the kids do as you say. Rules made will be followed.
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